Seven Things I've Learned About Body Image

   

 
     I made a beautiful surprise of a realization the other day as I was scrolling through a series of photos I'd taken of myself. I gasped as I realized that I'd ventured through ten or eleven without thinking one critical thing about my body, even the pictures that especially accentuated my cute little belly or in which I was making literally the derpiest face in the world. "How in the world did this happen?", I thought to myself as I considered the years I'd spent hating and picking apart everything from my baggy under eyes to my weird toes as I ruthlessly objectified and compared myself to the world's standard of beauty.
 
   A few years ago I became infatuated with the concept of relative beauty and objectification in relation to body positivity and studied it passionately, but even as I've tried to implement these beliefs, confidence in my body seemed to be more of a fleeting mood that I had to force myself into rather than a genuine love and permanent paradigm shift.
 
    But here I was, peacefully and confidently looking at pictures of myself. Rather than seeing a visual object that needed to be picked apart, slimmed down, and excessively improved, I saw creativity, love, strength, resilience and determination; I saw my body for everything it truly was without having to force myself into this thought process. In reflecting on how I've come to this magical point in my life, I've made a list of seven things I've learned and put into practice as I've studied body confidence. I'm certainly not perfect at all or any of these, but making efforts in each of these areas has made a tremendous difference in my life and the way I see myself.

Recognize How Divine and Miraculous Your Body Is
In my search to better understand the misrepresentation of bodies, I've spent a lot of time in scripture as I've sought a big-picture, spiritual perspective. I was astounded as I uncovered precious gems of truth about myself. First, I was created in the image of a Heavenly Parent. I get goosebumps when I take the time to really think about that. My body was created specifically for me to house my divine spirit with infinite potential. "Know ye now that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" It's so hard to tear my body down when I truly believe and internalize these truths.

Learn to Recognize Lies About Your Body 
We are surrounded by images, words, opinions, etc. about our bodies that are just straight up not true. If we aren't able to recognize them and negate them, it's so easy to firmly believe and internalize them. After developing a strong belief of the divine and miraculous nature of my body, it was easier for me to recognize these lies as they clashed so terribly with my newly developing beliefs. Another effective practice I've done to become more sensitive to these lies was to take a week-long break from media. During this week, I avoided all social media, television, magazines and advertisements as best as I could and kept a journal where I wrote down thoughts about body image; I was able to develop some beautiful thoughts and ideas about my worth without the influence of media to distract me.

Stop Comparing and Criticizing
For as long as I can remember, I've been comparing my body to others'. I think it's something we all do, at least sub-consciously. We compare our weight to others, puffing out our chests when we see someone bigger than us, and silently resenting ourselves when we stand next to someone smaller. We compare jean sizes, thigh circumference and stomach-flatness. I've found myself ruthlessly criticizing other's looks in a sad attempt to build myself up. In recognizing the toxicity of this practice, I've realized that by criticizing other's bodies, we're missing out on seeing their true, unique, miraculous beauty. Every saggy eyelid, bald head, curly lock, long leg, flat bum, yellow tooth, sculpted muscle, round belly, etc, etc. is a beautiful miracle! Learn to see that unique beauty in everyone around you, weather they're bigger or smaller, shorter or taller, lighter or darker than you. Additionally, learn to recognize your unique beauty free from any comparison or relativity to numbers (weight, clothing size, height, etc.). Those numbers do not define you and could never come close to measuring your unique, infinite beauty.

Stop Making Weight Loss the Focus of "Health"
For years,  in my mind being "healthy" was synonymous with losing weight. Thin people were healthy, fat people were not. Eating as little calories as possible was healthy, eating anything more than you "had" to was not. I took a nutrition class one semester that completely revolutionized my perspective on health and weight. I learned that health is far more than the numbers on a scale; it is the accumulation of our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. Health isn't about how we look, but how we feel. Furthermore, weight as an independent factor doesn't necessarily affect our health. I wrote a research paper for which I spent days pouring over studies that supported the theory that the overall health of active overweight people was just as good, if not better, than that of normal weight active people. Of course it's important to eat nutritious foods and exercise, but I've learned to do so out of love and respect, not resentment, for my body.

Make Peace with Food
After years of having a skewed definition of "health" as mentioned above, and focusing so intently on losing weight, my relationship with food was iffy at best. I didn't know which foods I truly enjoyed anymore and had completely lost touch with my body's hunger and fullness signals. Food had become numbers that I compared and kept track of. 300 calories for that slice of pizza or 120 calories for that salad. 250 calories for that brownie or 90 calories for that apple. I felt self righteous about eating "good" foods and completely worthless anytime I ate "bad" foods and consequently tried to numb my worthlessness by eating the entire bowl/plate/bag. I finally reached a point where I knew I needed to change. Change happened slowly and is still happening today, but I'm amazed at the healing I've found just in the past year.  I stopped labeling foods as "good" or bad" and gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted without guilt. I educated myself on nutrition (not fad diets) and learned the importance of variety and moderation. I began to eat what felt good to me and to listen to my body. I stopped looking at food as used up calories and learned to enjoy its taste and the energy it gave me. It's taken a significant amount of effort and practice, but for the most part, I've stopped using food as an emotional band aid.

Move Your Body
Starting in elementary school PE class, I found a great deal of emotional discomfort and embarrassment in moving my body. I thought that because I had a bit of a belly I couldn't move the same or push myself as much as the other kids. I didn't have confidence in what my body could do, I only stressed about how my body appeared to others as I ran up and down the gym or quivered it's way through strength exercises. Anytime I did exercise out of choice, it was to miserably burn calories. A few summers ago, I grasped onto a small spark of belief that I could push my body to do hard things and fell in love with exercise. I stopped worrying about how I looked and stopped viewing exercise as the calories I burned and just focused on how my body felt. I also stopped comparing how fast or hard I could run/lift/bike to others and just focused on improving. It's been so wonderful to actually enjoy moving my body and I've gained so much confidence in myself as I've learned what my body is capable of.

See Yourself as More Than a Body
When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a 5'10", curvy, dark haired, blued-eyed girl with a few zits and messy eyebrows. I see bags under my eyes, prominent collar bones, and pale skin. But I also see a wife, a daughter, a friend and sister. I see strength, adaptability, courage and hope. I see everything I've accomplished and my infinite potential. I'm endlessly more than a body, and I'm so humbled and grateful to be able to see that each time I see my picture or reflection.