Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A letter to my future husband

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I’m not looking for someone to tell me I’m beautiful.

I don’t need a hand to hold, or a snuggle buddy.

I don’t need your income.

I’m not looking for someone to open doors for me, move heavy things for me, or protect me.

Don’t get me wrong, these are all nice things. But it’s just icing. And I hate icing by itself. It’s way too sugary.

I’m looking for substance.

For a mutual trust, understanding, and investment.

For a commitment to integrity, purity, and growth.

I’m looking for devotion. First to a loving Heavenly Father, and then to me.

For reverence and humility towards the things that matter most.

Hello, my name is Emma and everyone should read this.

Monday, January 13, 2014

The Tennessee House

 

“Home can be a heaven on earth

When we are filled with love,

Bringing happiness and joy,

Rich blessings from above--

Warmth and kindness, charity,

Safety and security--

Making home a part of heaven,

Where we want to be.”

Carolyn Hamilton Klopfer, (c) 1985

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  My family is moving to Minnesota this year. I’m oh so very excited for them, but so sad I won’t be returning to my dear teenage-hood home. So many wonderful memories were made within it’s beautiful brick walls. From late night movies in the family room, to awkward “thanks for taking me out”s at the front door. Countless family dinners around the table, life-changing discussions on the edge of my parent’s bed, hours of piano practice in the dining room, and hundreds of cupcakes baked in the kitchen.  I couldn’t have asked for a better environment to grow up in.

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Hello, my name is Emma and I shall miss my sweet Tennessee house dearly.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014

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2014 is going to be a big year. 

I can feel it. 

  ...or maybe that's just the cold medicine talking. Either way, I'm felling good about this year. Anxious, excited, a little nervous, a little apprehensive, but good. 

  I don't have any specific "New Year's" resolutions, I just want each day to bring me one step closer to my Heavenly Father. Of course, there are goals I'm working towards, but they're goals I've made and revised over the course of the past few months, years even. That's one of the many things I love about goals; that they can be revised. I find that sometimes, as I'm working towards something, I realize it's not as important or worthy as I first made it out to be. So... I revise it! I take what I learned from working towards the first goal to revise it into a better, second goal. And again. And again. And again. I've always loved making goals in anticipation for a new year, but I've found it's much better to let the end of the year be an opportunity to reflect the goals I'm already working towards. I'm not going to become everything I ever want to be and obtain my ultimate dream life in one year, but I can use every single one of those 365 days to move at least one inch closer. 
     Lately I've been reflecting on the goals I've set to develop my talents, specifically artistic talents. I love creating things; it's pretty magical looking at something and knowing you're responsible for bringing it from an idea into physical reality. I've had the opportunity to observe several beautiful, moving pieces of artwork over the past month that have left me to consider what my creations bring to the world. What do they draw attention to? What ideas do they convey? Who are they for? And right now, I don't really know. I hadn't thought much about it until now. I know what I want the answers to be, and I'm excited to create new pieces that will hopefully convey the spirit I want them to. I'm sure it will take some experimenting to get there, but goals, right? 

Hello, my name is Emma and I'm all sorts of excited for the new year. 2014? Let's do this.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013: A Year in Review

Today I'm grateful for the insight a bit of retrospection brings. It's almost fascinating to consider where I was, or rather, where my mindset was exactly a year ago and how my personal convictions have developed over the past 12 months. I've had so many incredible experiences that have taught me more about myself and others. In no particular order (Just kidding... this is mostly in chronological order) here are some highlights from this year:
 
1. Emmalema Cupcakes! I had so much fun making and selling cupcakes over the summer. It was definitely a learning experience with the business side of things, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Thank you to everyone who ordered, whether it was a box of four for your family, or 500 for a wedding reception. 
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2. Emma Anne Photo! There were so many beautiful weddings, graduations, engagements and parties that happened this summer and I was so lucky to be a small part of them from behind my camera. I loved capturing beautiful people and special moments. Thanks to everyone who booked a shoot over the summer. I had a lovely time working with each of you :)




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3. My New Apartment! I love my apartment. I love my roommates. I love my ward. I just absolutely love everything about where I'm living now. 
 
4. Drawing Projects! I was enrolled in a drawing class this semester as a prerequisite for my major. I seem to gravitate towards a different style every few months. This go around was very Warhol-esque ink drawings. I love what they add to my portfolio. 
  
5. Friends! I've been absolutely, incredibly, over-the-top blessed this year with amazing friends, old and new. Seriously though. There are no words to describe my love for the people I've been lucky enough to spend time with this year. I've been humbled by the kindness shown, the personal stories shared, the shining examples and the opportunities to serve. Thank you, friends, for being there for me; I value my association with you more than words could ever adequately express :)

Hello, my name is Emma and, in retrospect,  my year has  been absolutely splendid. Even the bad parts. Happy New Year!




Saturday, November 2, 2013

Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Windows of Heaven

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“Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience.” David A. Bednar

I’ve spent a lot of time, far too much time, really, hating my body.

I’ve always viewed my “extra” weight, as some sort of deeply offensive moral sin.

How dare I have the audacity to be fat!

How dare I even glance at that scoop of double-chocolate chunk ice-cream when I’m nowhere near a size 4! (I’ll have you know, it was this mindset that screwed up any sort of “healthy” that was involved in my relationship with food, but that’s for another post)

How dare I allow myself to be happy when I’m the instigator of such a serious offense!

And ever since the first “health” plan I drew up for myself at age 11 (trust me, it had nothing to do with health and everything to do with desperately wanting to look like Barbie) conquering the fat has been my heroic conquest.

I wasn’t allowed to be at peace when there was weight to be lost.

Happiness couldn’t come until I was skinny.

I would pray so hard. Every night. I’m so sorry for being fat. Please help me to be thin.

This was, after all,  a righteous endeavor; or so I thought.

All I can say is God sure knows what He’s doing.

I’m not an ounce lighter because of my years of praying.

I’m still a size 12. My thighs rub together when I walk and my belly pooches out when I sit down.

But guys, I LOVE MY BODY.

That’s right. I love it. my belly, my arms, my legs the chub on my neck, everything.

For so long, I thought that I just wasn’t righteous enough to overcome my own fatness.

But I see now how a loving Heavenly Father is answering my shallow, selfish pleas.  Over the years, He has patiently led me through deep personal study that has taught me the beauty, sanctity and divine purpose of bodies.

He’s taught me how to be happy and confident. Right now. Belly and all.

He’s given me the courage to challenge society’s demonization of “fatness” and obsession with being thin; I’m realizing more and more over time how ultimately harmful this mindset it.

He’s blessed me with the knowledge to differentiate between my health and the number on my dress tag.

He’s helped me to understand that my body is constantly growing and changing and will never be “perfect” here on earth.

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. And I often have to remind myself of the things I’ve learned. But I feel so liberated. And confident. And blessed.

And I know that the perspective and understanding I’m gaining is just the beginning. I can’t help but feel that there are bigger things in store for me regarding body image.

I want to keep learning and understanding and growing. And I want everyone else to feel this way.

Hey, you! Your body is awesome. Right now. Just the way it is.

Hello, my name is Emma and I’m just ready to change things.

P.S. this girl is my hero.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Lazy Fall Outfit

It's been a while since I've done an outfit post, and while this is one of my frumpy-er ensembles, I really like it. Mostly because I'm basically wearing glorified pajamas. 
Shameless mirror selfie taken with my iPhone in a bathroom on campus. Don't judge.
Scarf: Old Navy// giant sweater: thrifted // leggings: June&Daisy // flats: Walmart
Giant sweaters are the best for Utah weather. Especially those of the thrifted menswear variety. I picked up five at the DI this weekend. So exciting! 
Also, let's talk about Walmart. Seriously, if you take the time to sort through things, you can find some awesome wardrobe essentials. I've been on the hunt for some nude flats for a while now, and found these last night at Walmart for 9 bucks! Woohoo! 
Anyways. That's that. 
Hello, my name is Emma and I live in leggings.